A lot of people talk about wishing they were more confident. Self-confidence is one of the most important leadership skills that we can develop. It is a common misconception that you have to be born with self-confidence. Confidence can be developed just like any other leadership trait or skill.
While many people consider me to be a pretty confident guy, there was a time when I wasn’t. I was very nervous going into Air Force ROTC Field Training when I was 19. I wasn’t the best runner, wasn’t the best leader and wasn’t really the best at anything we were going to be facing at training. Organizing and planning things were skills that I had, but that was going to be a very small part of our experience. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through the 4 weeks of training.
All I could do was show up at training and I try. It was hard and there were days I had doubts, but I just kept getting up every morning and trying. I got through the first day and then the second day. Pretty soon a week was done. Then we finished 2 weeks and then it seemed like it was over really quickly. I knew when I came out of that training that I could do anything. I was more confident in my abilities, my leadership skills and myself as a person.
Self-confidence is about trusting yourself to be able to accomplish something you want to do. If you have doubts about whether you can accomplish something, ask yourself, “what would I need to know to eliminate those doubts?”. I know that’s a hard question to ask and sometimes even harder to answer. So here are four tips for gaining more confidence whether you feel like you want a lot more self-confidence in general or just need a little boost now and then.
Self-Confidence Tip #1 – Start Something New
The best thing we can do to boost our self-confidence is to start something new, make a commitment to ourselves and see it through until the end. We may not get the outcome we are looking for, but taking it all the way to the end will grow our confidence. Try a mix of challenges that are easy and hard. Easy ones give us a quick victory and small confidence boost. Harder challenges will have a longer lasting an impact on our self-confidence.
Self-Confidence Tip #2 – Know What You’re Good At
Recognizing what we’re good at helps our confidence. It enables us to play to our strengths when tackling these challenges. We can draw analogies from what we are struggling with and use parallels to apply our talents in new ways. It helps to bring that challenge closer to what we know and understand. It may not work out perfectly and we need to adapt, but knowing our strengths helps us with every problem.
Self-Confidence Tip #3 – Know What You’re NOT Good At
Recognizing what we’re not good at is just as important. When we aren’t good at something we need to get better at it or find ways to overcome it. If we’re really struggling we can find a mentor or guide. We don’t want someone to do it for us, but some support and guidance can push us a little further than we might have gotten on our own.
Self-Confidence Tip #4 – Learn From Failure
Failure is the best teacher and can do wonders for self-confidence if we have the right attitude about it. Don’t be afraid to try, even if you have doubts, especially if you have doubts. We learn the most from making mistakes, seeing it’s not the end of the world, adapting and doing better next time.
On the days when the challenges seem insurmountable, sometimes showing up is all we can do. We might show up and get a terrible outcome. but we can recognize ourselves for showing up and commit to showing up tomorrow and the next day. Even just following through on just showing up will build our self-confidence.
So this is just my best advice for you if you’re looking to build more self-confidence. Looking back on my career and my life, these were the tips that worked best for me. I think they can help you too. Confidence isn’t something that changes overnight, but if you commit to trying to at least one of these tips over a few weeks, I’m confident that you’ll see a noticeable change.