We’ve been spending November talking about how we can get to know ourselves better. One of the more difficult aspects of knowing ourselves is understanding why we don’t do the things we should do in order to achieve our goals. We all face resistance like this to some degree. We know we should take actions in our best interest, but we find ways to put them off or avoid them.
The main reason we resist doing the things that we know will improve our lives is that our ego gets in the way. Our ego likes when we do things that are safe and when we stay in our comfort zone. When we experience resistance, that’s our ego trying to protect us from the scary things that are out there in the unknown. There are times when that serves us well, but there are also times when it holds us back.
Last month we talked about our fears and how we can understand and embrace that fear to take action. Recognizing resistance works much the same way, except that many times we don’t even know that we are resisting. We may make excuses that we don’t have time to do the things that we know will benefit us. Or we may convince ourselves that it’s not that important. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we’re thinking it through so that we can do it the best way possible. When we find ourselves making excuses and avoiding action, it’s a sign that we might be resisting.
Resistance: Action Steps
Once we realize we are resisting taking an important step, we can take action to move through it. First, some self-reflection can help us find the source of our resistance. Find a quiet place to sit, close your eyes and ask yourself “what is it that I’m resisting?” It’s important not to try to answer that question with our minds. Our minds and our egos are the parts of us that have been preventing us from taking action. We need to listen to what our bodies, our hearts and the universe are trying to tell us. And it’s okay if an answer doesn’t come to us immediately. Doing this exercise regularly can help those answers come to us later on.
Recognizing what we’re resisting is an important first step, but that alone won’t motivate us to take decisive action. Our ego will take steps to keep us from stepping out of our comfort zone. To make our ego feel more at ease with taking action, we can start by taking very small steps. This will help build a sense of familiarity. Our ego will gradually get used to these new steps and will become more comfortable with each one. If you find yourself ready to take a big step and are excited to take action, it sounds like you’re moving in the right direction through resistance. If the feeling of resistance ever comes back, try taking smaller steps again to keep moving forward.
One thing we can be sure of is that as we move through resistance we will make some mistakes. Our egos will use this to push back and tell us “I told you we shouldn’t try this.” Whenever we try something new, we need to approach it with the concept of “Beginner’s Mind”. Everyone who is truly great at something had to start at the beginning and had failures along the way. We shouldn’t think of ourselves any differently. When we have a setback, we can remind ourselves that we are still learning.
Resistance: Next Steps
Resistance is a natural part of our lives as human beings. Our egos are always trying to protect us from the unknown and keep us from taking risks. Ego isn’t great at telling the difference between unnecessary risks and calculated risks that can bring us great rewards. Deliberate self-reflection can help us cut through the excuses our ego makes and really understand what we are resisting. We can make our ego feel better by taking small steps and accepting that we’ll make mistakes. No matter what you may be resisting, remember you’re not alone and that we all feel resistance sometimes.